The Schedule

June 21st, 2011

Now then Team.

Your cuddly DS (director sportive) here.

Critical information as follows:

1. Rendezvous at St. Pancras ticket hall 11-45 am (latest) on Thursday 30th June. Good idea to bring passports

2. Train departs St. Pancras at 12-28. Sparkling conversation provided by the DS.

3. Train arrives in the capital city of the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys at 15-50.

4. We transfer from Paris Nord to Paris Gare Lyon by luxury van at 15-55.

5. Train departs Gare Lyon at 16-38. More sparkling conversation.

6. We arrive at Grenoble (half decent rugby team – bxggxr (not much) all else) at 19-33.

7. We transfer (50km) from Grenoble to a camp site just outside Bourg D’Oisans by luxury van (hopefully a Mercedes Vito) driven in a God-like manner by a bald but perfectly formed man called Drive. We are in two “softie” tents that each sleep a family of four. They come with camp beds, bed linen, pillows and cooking facilities – bring a towel. Luxury.

8. Friday 1st July will be spent putting bikes together (unless you are called Anton or Steve – when you get Jim to do it), going for a little pootle and driving up Alpe D’Huez to register. I suggest that all passengers close their eyes on the ascent – bxxxdy (very) scary gradient.

9. Saturday 2nd July. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE! We kick some Garlic Munchers’ axxxs (bottoms) up their own hills.

10. Sunday 3rd July. A wonderfully comfortable transfer via luxury van back to Grenoble for a 12-05 departure. The whole team must now “Get On It” in the on-board cafe bar. A prize for the most cans of 1664 sunk before Paris.

11. Arrive Paris Gare Lyon at 15-13. Another luxury transfer to Gare Nord. Steak frites and a bloody good bottle of red (at or close to Gare Nord) – all steaks to be on the blue side of rare – no pxxfs (weaklings).

12. Depart Paris at 16-43. Head straight to the on-board bar for more 1664. Another prize for the most cans sunk before we arrive back in the capital city of God’s Own Country.

13. Arrive St. Pancras 17-59. Emotional/drunken farewells and return journeys on our rather inferior transport system to the bosoms of our long suffering families.

The Tour of Wessex

May 28th, 2011

The cannondale did get reaired in time for the Tour of Wessex. I collected it on the Friday and rode the 3 day event on the Saturday Sunday and Monday. This is easily the hardest sportive I have done. It’s great I got the bike back but 3 days in a new position is not ideal training, I just couldn’t get comfortable and must have went through 3 tubes of savlon and a tub of Assos cream.
350 over 3 days with some of the toughest climbing I’ve done. We might not have 20 mile alpine climbs in this country but we have some really ridiculous 1:5′s with cattle grids across them!
3 days in the saddle combined with those carb drinks saw me return to a whole world of pain which I have been told to stay away from on my blog. The upshot is I will not do carb drinks in future and have returned to nature with nuts and other normal drinks


May 17th, 2011

My beautiful Cannondale bike is knackered. It turns out it has a hairline crack along the bottom bracket!. technical boring stuff but the bottom line is that Cannondale have agreed to replace it under warranty. The only pronblem is getting it back for the tiur of Wessex!